Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Winter is dumb

It's my last finals week.

A tree came through our window and now there's a big plastic sheet over it.

We've been without power for 30 hours now.

Finals are back in session.

I live in a basement, therefore, cannot shower, flush the toilet, or run any water.

It's cold.

I'm grumpy.

Winter is dumb.

Pout pout pout.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Blog behavior

I graduate on Saturday. Really. I can prove it. http://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/lists/fa07/fallgradsf.html

So I feel like I should be blogging about the importance of college and my thoughts on the past 3.5 years and a top ten list of things I've learned and seen and done, etc. Really reflect on my youth, blah blah blah.

And I would really like to.

I just don't have the time.

All week I've been feeling unsettled. I'm on this constant wave of caffeine and stress and paperwork. I've gotten shots, gotten stamps, filled out future alumni sheets of every color. Finished papers, revised others, slept not at all. And at the same time that I'm doing all of this, I'm lamenting all the things that I wish I could be doing. Which is exactly how I've felt the past 3.5 years. Oh as soon as I finish this thing, then I can finally do what I want. Always in the future. The unreachable tomorrow. One of my CCD teachers remarked that you'll never get to tomorrow. Because when you reach it, it's just today. I think I was in second grade, but I've felt sort of depressed about it ever since. I hope that after I finish this paper and graduate and then read the books and take my finals and figure out Christmas presents and get home and turn in my substitute teaching stuff and write my novels and get my first publications and take the GRE and get accepted to Grad school and find loans to pay for it and then move to the new city and get the new apartment and call the water company... Then I'll blog about the shining memories of college.

Right now though, it is today. And today is full. So is tomorrow's today.

I need a lollipop.

*EDIT* It' s not all bad. I've been listening to Ingrid's old album- Slow the Rain- only available through iTunes. I love it love it love it. If you can get past the weird "Mosquito" song and just sink down into "A Bird's Song" all stress just floats away.