New Soul

I love that song on the new Apple commercial. Y'know? The one where they fit the computer in the manila envelope? Ridiculous. Anyway the song is called "New Soul" and it's by Yael Naim, some super cool french singer. It's on my MySpace profile if you want to give it a listen, but all of her others seem to be in French. But I'll take what I can get.

I spent the last week in Manhattan and it was fantastic. Time passes so strangely in my two different lives. Here, weeks seem to stretch on forever, full of work and chores and ferrying Abby around to different appointments and lessons, etc. But I spent ten days in Manhattan, all relatively uneventful, and the time seemed to gallop away from me. Hopefully time will start to gallop here, also. I don't operate well with slow.

Anyway, here are the highlights, so that I can remember how I spent my week.

1. Harvest Grain & Nut pancakes at IHOP. I finally found a pancake I like. Steven and I tried to feed the extras to the ducks, or the birds, but when we got to the lake, we discovered that it was frozen, and the only animals around were hunting dogs. So instead we tried to throw rocks through the ice and ate the pancakes ourselves.

2. Waitress. It's a new release with Keri Russell and it's wonderful. Very quirky funny, and Keri Russell is so sweet and quietly hilarious. I watched a lot of movies over the ten days and it was definitely my favorite. I also watched Feast of Love which was not great, but did inspire me to read the Charles Baxter novel it was adapted from. Movies we watched that you should avoid: In the Land of Women, Suburban Girl and Because I Said So. Poor Diane Keaton is so fidgety.

3. Chipotle Raspberry Bean dip at So Long. It takes a good three times eating it before you like it, but once you do, you'll never order the fried pickles again. It's just that good.

4. Dan Chaon. I'm currently reading "You Remind Me of Me" and it's excellent. I've been reading some of his short stories, and moved on to the novel. I'd recommend either. I've also been hooked on Lydia Davis, TC Boyle, and Alice Munro, as of late. I think you have to be in the right mood for Munro, though. She's great for gray, cold weather days.

5. Big Love. I know I'm three years behind on the show, but I watched the first two seasons in four days. I'm hooked on their crazy lives. And their continued dedication to always making the wrong decision. Love it.

6. Super Tuesday. Steven and I watched Bob Roberts in between all night coverage of the results of Super Tuesday. Then we researched the candidates websites. Seriously, if you're running for President, Hillary Clinton, you'd think you could get a better web designer. I'm officially throwing in my hat as an Obama supporter. This declaration in no way means that I wish to engage in any sort of political discussion. They only end in tears. I'm just excited to see how it all plays out. And if you haven't seen Bob Roberts, it's not bad. If you can get over the fact that it's Tim Robbins.

7. The Superbowl. I didn't watch it. We made jambalaya and watched Big Love and played Phase 10 instead. But we did watch all of the commercials the next day on MySpace. The eTrade baby ones were my favorites. Anyone else?

8. Omaha. Hailey is officially moving to Omaha in August, which means that if my plans remain the same, I will be living on my own for the first time, back in Manhattan in August. If anyone hears of a good one-bedroom, I would be much obliged, since I have to do the majority of my apartment hunting from GC. Also job openings are helpful too. Just if you run across anything. It was really nice to have a roommate again for a week. We watched American Idol and that terrible Moment of Truth reality show on Fox, ate a lot of cookies and giggled. It'll be strange to live in Manhattan without her.

9. Spring break. We decided not to go to New Orleans over spring break, but instead visit Ole Miss in Oxford, Mississippi. We'll probably spend a day in Memphis too, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions about things to do/see in that area, I'd love any advice.

I think that's the major update on my life. I have three more days at Hastings and then it's back to substitute teaching full time. Unfortunately, the anthropological experiment came second to paying the bills, so I'm giving it up. I'm very relieved to be rid of my coupon signing and cash drawer counting responsibilities.

Sycamore Down

Here's a helpful hint, from me to you: never read T. Coraghessan Boyle's, "The Love of My Life" when you are young, infatuated, in a long distance relationship, and currently planning a spring break trip with the object of your infatuation. It's a little too close to home. Instead, read David Schickler's "The Smoker" and indulge those fantasies about your English teacher that you never knew you had. Or just enjoy the detail of Schickler's narrative.

I have now been back home for two weeks. It feels like a lifetime. Time is a tricky devil like that. I'm falling into step here though. Work is going well, routine, the hours of the day are starting to fit together with ease, sleep comes easier, my skin is adjusting to its new role here. It's interesting how geography dictates so much of perspective. I spent the last 3.5 years living on my own, or living with Hailey, rather. And now, I'm here, and in two weeks, this already feels like the norm. The way it has always been. I never thought that I would be a quick adapter. I lived in the same house for 18 years before college. But maybe after the first move, it becomes easier to adapt to the next.

Other than the move, I'm finding other things to fit into my new daily routine. Like tea. I've decided to get hooked on tea, because it's healthy and pretentious, and I can make it at home, since there are no coffee shops open past 6. The tea I'm drinking tonight reminds me of an abandoned crayon in a pack of 64. That weird mix of green and yellow that didn't look good, no matter what you were drawing. I've also started eating yogurt, and oatmeal, both things I tried when I was 8, disliked, and had assumed that I would hate them forever. Turns out, not so much. This revelation had me cheering for Brett Favre and the Packers again, but sadly, they have broken my heart and I am officially off the NFL again.

I've also decided to turn my Hastings job into some sort of anthropological study of Garden City. So far I am learning about the wide variety of people who purchase dirty magazines. The type of small talk in a situation like that is a gold mine of awkward and uncomfortable dialogue. I'm hoping to get some serious inspiration from the job to make up for the lack of decent pay. I'll keep you all posted.

Survivor

I just got home from my first day as a substitute teacher.

I subbed for 8th grade Reading at Abe Hubert Middle School.

And I survived.

I've never been so nervous about anything... ever.

But now, it is over. Until 7:30 am tomorrow.

Also, Steven sent me tulips yesterday. He's kind of spectacular.

Frustrated.

So, I think I've figured out why I haven't been sleeping this week. Part of it has to do with my ridiculous schedule in Manhattan. Stay up til 5am, sleep until 2pm. Not really conducive to Garden City life. Then, when I finally get here, my waking hours are little more than being asleep with my eyes open. I watch Gilmore Girls. I drink tea. I read Lorrie Moore. I drink Dr. Pepper. Occasionally I'll eat some yogurt. It's strenuous stuff. In addition to my sedentary lifestyle, I haven't been working. I'm finally in the system now, but only subbing for high school. Because I earned my degree, and I will not, cannot, refuse to, follow around third graders and accidentally making one of them cry or pee their pants or bite someone. It's too much. So tonight, when I discovered that there were no jobs available for tomorrow, something in my head finally clicked.

I need to apply for other jobs too.

Initially, I was opposed to this idea. Substitute teaching gave me the flexibility to leave for a week at a time, lounge around in Manhattan, enjoy a mini-vacation once a month. Other jobs, even crappy part-time ones, don't exactly grant that sort of schedule and allow you to keep your job.

I suppose one alternative would be to take the crappy elementary school subbing jobs and suck it up, and hold out for the vacation.

Or...

I could sub occasionally AND work my part-time job. This doesn't allow me to visit Manhattan as often, but maybe that's better. I think part of my sleeplessness is stemming from the fact that I keep taking shortcuts. I'm looking for the easier path, the job where I can keep my brain on autopilot while collecting paychecks and refreshing myself before grad school in August.

I don't know. Maybe this is just another short cut. But I'm blogging about this just in case you, the informed populace of Garden City, know of any jobs where I could actually learn something, or use my degree in even the smallest capacity. Jobs paying significantly more than minimum wage are a plus.

At the very least, I'm doing something. That feels better.

I like giants

Last weekend, Steven and I went to Topeka to judge for DCI. Well, Steven didn't judge. He just kept me company. Because we're still in that early phase of the relationship where you do ridiculous things together - like watching debate rounds that you have absolutely zero interest in. Or staying up all night watching Mark Sommers host a game show for Social Studies teachers. It was a good trip.

We also went to see Juno, which was wonderful, and I laughed and cried and came away love love loving Kimya Dawson. It's actually in Garden City, so everyone should see it. No excuses. It's adorable.

And also, you should check out The Moldy Peaches and Kimya Dawson. They're silly and fabulous.

"When I go for a drive I like to pull off to the side
Of the road, turn out the lights, get out and look up at the sky
And I do this to remind me that I'm really, really tiny
In the grand scheme of things and sometimes this terrifies me

But it's only really scary cause it makes me feel serene
In a way I never thought I'd be because I've never been
So grounded, and so humbled, and so one with everything
I am grounded, I am humbled, I am one with everything

Rock and roll is fun but if you ever hear someone
Say you are huge, look at the moon, look at the stars, look at the sun
Look at the ocean and the desert and the mountains and the sky
Say I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye
I am just a speck of dust inside a giant's eye."

Winter is dumb

It's my last finals week.

A tree came through our window and now there's a big plastic sheet over it.

We've been without power for 30 hours now.

Finals are back in session.

I live in a basement, therefore, cannot shower, flush the toilet, or run any water.

It's cold.

I'm grumpy.

Winter is dumb.

Pout pout pout.

Blog behavior

I graduate on Saturday. Really. I can prove it. http://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/lists/fa07/fallgradsf.html

So I feel like I should be blogging about the importance of college and my thoughts on the past 3.5 years and a top ten list of things I've learned and seen and done, etc. Really reflect on my youth, blah blah blah.

And I would really like to.

I just don't have the time.

All week I've been feeling unsettled. I'm on this constant wave of caffeine and stress and paperwork. I've gotten shots, gotten stamps, filled out future alumni sheets of every color. Finished papers, revised others, slept not at all. And at the same time that I'm doing all of this, I'm lamenting all the things that I wish I could be doing. Which is exactly how I've felt the past 3.5 years. Oh as soon as I finish this thing, then I can finally do what I want. Always in the future. The unreachable tomorrow. One of my CCD teachers remarked that you'll never get to tomorrow. Because when you reach it, it's just today. I think I was in second grade, but I've felt sort of depressed about it ever since. I hope that after I finish this paper and graduate and then read the books and take my finals and figure out Christmas presents and get home and turn in my substitute teaching stuff and write my novels and get my first publications and take the GRE and get accepted to Grad school and find loans to pay for it and then move to the new city and get the new apartment and call the water company... Then I'll blog about the shining memories of college.

Right now though, it is today. And today is full. So is tomorrow's today.

I need a lollipop.

*EDIT* It' s not all bad. I've been listening to Ingrid's old album- Slow the Rain- only available through iTunes. I love it love it love it. If you can get past the weird "Mosquito" song and just sink down into "A Bird's Song" all stress just floats away.