Joy

I'm obsessed with this song right now. She sang it in Kansas City and it was devastatingly beautiful. Just perfect. But I can't find it on any of her albums. Anyone have any ideas? I just can't get enough.

Starting to itch

I feel it again.

That antsy stir. The agitation that makes it impossible for me to focus on a task for more than ten minutes at a time. My mind is selective. I forget names. Forget what I'm talking about. Forget what my hands are doing while my mouth is moving and words that are disconnected from my brain are coming out. It's like I'm constantly spinning, and I'm just trying to find a spot to look at each time around. Waiting for something to come in focus. Waiting and waiting. I need to be spinning toward something. I need to keep the spin from becoming a spiral.

Today was a hard day for my college football heart. K-State lost. We couldn't catch a break. Josh's face was stressed and confused and betrayed as Prince's golden boy continually got smacked on the nose. Jordy couldn't save him. It was impossible to watch. It reminded me, in a small way, of what Mom said after the Big 12 championship loss to A&M in '98. We were all so involved that she couldn't watch for most of the next season. It seems silly, improbable even. But it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in my family who is overly attached to this sport. OSU lost in the final seconds. Tears were shed. Boston College and Matt Ryan finally failed to bring it home. Even though they were #2, they always felt like the underdog. Anyone playing Bobby Bowden feels like an underdog to me. KU might be in the top 5 tomorrow. I'm spinning and spinning and spinning and trying desperately to recognize Big 12 football again. Hard day.

We finally broke down and turned on the heater today. I've been wearing three pairs of socks around the house and Hailey came home today to find me curled up on the couch, in my socks, two pairs of pants, three shirts, my hood pulled over my face and snuggled under a blanket, still shivering. We couldn't even make it to January. Jack London, I am not.

I just heard on the news that they're making a memorial picture of Greensburg, putting it on an ornament and hanging it on a Christmas tree at the White House. Um... great?

Don't forget to change your clocks, all. Happy Fall back day.

Reading for fun

I should be writing my 20 page essay test for Family Relationship and Gender Roles.

What am I actually doing?

Re-reading Lorrie Moore and finding new music on myspace. Aren't you supposed to learn time management by the time you graduate? I wonder if they'll take away my diploma.

"What makes humans human is precisely that they do not know the future. That is why they do the fateful and amusing things they do: who can say how anything will turn out? Therein lies the only hope for redemption, discovery, and--let's be frank--fun, fun, fun! There might be things people will get away with. And not just motel towels. There might be great illicit loves, enduring joy, faith-shaking accidents with farm machinery. But you have to not know in order to see what stories your life's efforts bring you. The mystery is all." ~ Lorrie Moore

When I grow up, I want to drink a beer with Lorrie and talk about the boyfriends of her past. Or maybe just take her class. I'm down with settling.

Music of the week: Wilco, Jessie Baylin, William Fitzsimmons, Jeff Buckley and The New Pornographers.

Check it.