The Thing You Never Knew You Needed But Now Can't Live Without - Week 5

The Cats are off this week, but the three Big 12 match-ups should teach us quite a bit about the true strengths and weaknesses of our conference foes.  GameDay is in Lansing this week, which should tell you quite a bit about the quality of the games in the rest of the country.  Welcome to sad week.

Big 12 Schedule

All right, Mountaineers.  TCU underwhelmed in their Big 12 opener.  Let's see what you can do.

11:00 a.m. FX: Baylor at West Virginia
West Virginia and Baylor kick off their Big 12 seasons with a points-a-palooza!  Neither team has shown any consistency on defense, but they both love the deep ball.  And scoring points.  And turning the ball over.  And then scoring more points off those turnovers.  It's like the 2011 Alamo bowl, only with stakes.  Prediction: 52-49, West Virginia.

6:00 p.m. FCS: Texas Tech at Iowa State
This is probably the best Big 12 match-up this week, and therefore the one that requires the most extensive cable package to watch.  Texas Tech has one of the highest ranked defenses in the country... and the lowest ranked strength of schedule.  Iowa State seems to be a little bit afraid of the end zone, but there's no denying the Paul Rhoads magic in Ames.  Texas Tech should win by 20.  I'm guessing they won't.  Prediction: 21-17, Iowa State. 

6:00 p.m. FSN: TCU at SMU
When Baylor played SMU, I thought that Baylor's defense had improved.  Then Baylor played Sam Houston State and I realized that SMU is just sad.  The army of TCU freshmen have also looked sad, making this year's Iron Skillet game an all-out sadfest.  Prediction: 28-3, TCU.

6:30 p.m. FOX: Texas at Oklahoma State
Much to ESPN's frustration, Fox has had the game of the week for the last two weeks.  Will the streak continue?  Texas' offense looked great against Ole Miss but consistently gave up the big play on defense.  Oklahoma State has plenty of offense with or without Wes Lunt, but imploded against the only real team they played.  This game is in Stillwater, which is probably an advantage to both teams.  The difference will be discipline.  Prediction: 35-21, Texas.  

Best of the Rest

Remember last year, when Michigan State won on that crazy hail mary pass and Bret Bielema looked like he just lost all love for the sport of football?  Seems like that look is here to stay. 

11:00 a.m. ESPNU: NC State at Miami
The best thing about beating a BCS non-conference foe is having a new team to cheer for.  The more games Miami wins, the better K-State looks.  But the best thing about that foe being Miami is that they refuse to win a game until the final minutes.  Non-stop slop with zero stakes is my favorite kind of morning game.  Prediction: 41-40, Miami.

11:21 a.m. SEC Network: Arkansas at Texas A&M
Arkansas is so sad.  Texas A&M is always ready to implode.  Arkansas only really has to show up for the second half to win this game and start turning their season around.  At the crossroads of misfortune and embarrassment, I'm rooting for the Razorbacks.  Prediction:  24-21, Arkansas.

2:30 p.m. ESPNU: Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati
Cincinnati beat Pittsburgh by 24 points in their season opener.  Pittsburgh beat Virginia Tech by 18 points a week later. Therefore, Cincinnati should beat Virginia Tech by 42.  However, this is the Big East and the ACC, so all we really know for sure is that mistakes will be made and Frank Beamer will look sad.  Can we get a joint conference wheel of destiny?  I think it's time.  Prediction: 30-21, Cincinnati.

2:30 p.m. ABC: Ohio State at Michigan State
This is ESPN's game of the week, which means they'll have to take a week off from Big 10 bashing.  Expect plenty of crankiness and looking ahead to next week, when they'll most certainly end up back in the friendly confines of the SEC.  This game means absolutely nothing because Ohio State can't compete in the postseason and Michigan State has decided to take a break from offense for the year.  It's weird to me that the Big 10 automatically fell apart when Urban Meyer arrived.  Do you suppose it was part of the contract he signed with his daughters?  It's spooky and sad and I hate that all the ESECPN guys keep saying that everyone in the Midwest is too slow to play BCS football.  Show some fight, guys.  Knock off that SEC sheep in Jim Tressel's clothing.  Prediction: 20-17, Michigan State.

7:00 p.m. ABC: Wisconsin at Nebraska
Something is seriously off in Madison and it makes me sad.   After putting up 60 points on everyone last year, they've joined Michigan State in the Big 10 touchdown boycott of 2012.  Poor Montee Ball got beat up in the offseason, changed his name, and forgot how to run like a Heisman candidate.  Bielema lost 6 coaches in the off-season, then fired his offensive line coach after the first game. They need a big win, and Nebraska always deserves to lose.  Prediction: 31-17, Wisconsin.  Please.

9:00 pm. Pac-12 Network: Oregon State at Arizona
In Oregon State's first two games they've taken down two hot teams in Wisconsin and UCLA.  Now they roll into Arizona who got destroyed last week by Oregon in a game where they refused to capitalize on their good fortune.  I'm guessing that Oregon State will win again, but still not be a very good football team.  The Pac-12 is just straight up wacky right now.  Prediction: 24-10, Oregon State. 

 

Catlock and I will be back next week with your regular Friday/Saturday/Sunday happiness.  Until then, broaden your horizons with a little Alphbetical and Grantland reading.  See you next week.