The Thing You Never Knew You Needed But Now Can't Live Without - Week 14

It's championship weekend and everything is pretty much set.  The winner of the SEC championship game will face off against Notre Dame for the crystal ball and we all just have to deal with it.  Le sigh.  In light of that, I'm changing up the prediction format this week and giving the people what they really want: snarky commentary.  Enjoy it while you can.  The off-season is darkening our doorstep.

Big 12 Schedule

 

Heisman winner.  Coach of the Year.  

11:00 a.m. ESPN: OU at TCU
Because rules are stupid, if OU and K-State both win on Saturday, we have to share a Big 12 title with them, even though we beat them earlier in the season.  Does that make any sense?  No sir, it does not.  Hopefully, this bothers Patterson and the Frogs as much as it bothers me since apparently they're the only ones who can do anything about it.  College football is simultaneously the most wonderful and annoying thing in my life.  Prediction: OU doesn't win the Big 12.  At all.  Not even part of it.  No soup for you.     

11:00 a.m. FX: OSU at Baylor
This game has the potential to be an amazing point-splosion of highlight reel proportions.  Doesn't that sound fun?  Congratulations on surviving a whole season without threat of Big 12 conference implosion!  Enjoy the fireworks.  Prediction: Points and happiness for all, but mostly OSU because I like them and Lache Seastrunk ran over our dreams.   

1:30 p.m. FSN: KU at West Virginia
Maybe if this game was happening in Lawrence, in mid-October, KU might have a shot.  But now that the Mountaineers are bowl eligible and their fans are back and Tavon Austin is everywhere all the time and Geno Smith finally stopped pouting... the Jayhawks are going down.  For the 21st conference game in a row.  Thanks for playing, guys.  Better luck next year?  Prediction: Charlie Weis does have a sideline pillow and he will sit down and I am not making this up it did actually happen and I saw it so there.

7:00 p.m. ABC: Texas at K-State (extended preview available)
We're gonna win so hard that your coach will get fired! (What, too soon?) Prediction: 37-24, K-State.  Also, Lane Kiffin.

Best of the Rest

It's the battle of the ugly uniforms: part two!

3:00 p.m. CBS: Alabama vs. Georgia
This game will be unwatchable because the announcers will look for any opportunity to talk about Johnny Manziel.  I repeat, do not watch this game with the sound on.  Regardless of who wins, this game is a not-so-secret Heisman campaign for Johnny Manziel.  Remember that Holiday Bowl in 2009 where Nebraska played Arizona and lost spectacularly?  Probably not, because the game was just background noise to the incessant Ndamukong Suh chatter.  If you'll recall, he didn't win the Heisman either.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  Prediction: Manti Te'o wins the Heisman. 

7:00 p.m. ESPN: Florida State vs. Georgia Tech
Man the ACC is irrelevant.  I'm assuming the winner of this game gets to go to a BCS bowl.  I'm also assuming that no one would notice if they didn't.  If there's ever a time for Florida State to jump to the Big 12, it's now.  Prediction: This game will get accidentally pre-empted by a showing of A Charlie Brown Christmas and no one will complain.   

7:17 p.m. FOX: Nebraska vs. Wisconsin
The only thing weirder than the start time for this game is that Wisconsin is currently 7-5 and unranked.  Bielema is the saddest badger.  Then again, the Nebraska players really, really hate their coach, so maybe they'll throw the game just to see him get fired.  Is there a scenario where Nebraska could end up playing Texas in a bowl game?  Because that would be the perfect finale for Pelini and Brown's coaching careers.  Prediction: Montee Ball deserved better.