Frustrated.

So, I think I've figured out why I haven't been sleeping this week. Part of it has to do with my ridiculous schedule in Manhattan. Stay up til 5am, sleep until 2pm. Not really conducive to Garden City life. Then, when I finally get here, my waking hours are little more than being asleep with my eyes open. I watch Gilmore Girls. I drink tea. I read Lorrie Moore. I drink Dr. Pepper. Occasionally I'll eat some yogurt. It's strenuous stuff. In addition to my sedentary lifestyle, I haven't been working. I'm finally in the system now, but only subbing for high school. Because I earned my degree, and I will not, cannot, refuse to, follow around third graders and accidentally making one of them cry or pee their pants or bite someone. It's too much. So tonight, when I discovered that there were no jobs available for tomorrow, something in my head finally clicked.

I need to apply for other jobs too.

Initially, I was opposed to this idea. Substitute teaching gave me the flexibility to leave for a week at a time, lounge around in Manhattan, enjoy a mini-vacation once a month. Other jobs, even crappy part-time ones, don't exactly grant that sort of schedule and allow you to keep your job.

I suppose one alternative would be to take the crappy elementary school subbing jobs and suck it up, and hold out for the vacation.

Or...

I could sub occasionally AND work my part-time job. This doesn't allow me to visit Manhattan as often, but maybe that's better. I think part of my sleeplessness is stemming from the fact that I keep taking shortcuts. I'm looking for the easier path, the job where I can keep my brain on autopilot while collecting paychecks and refreshing myself before grad school in August.

I don't know. Maybe this is just another short cut. But I'm blogging about this just in case you, the informed populace of Garden City, know of any jobs where I could actually learn something, or use my degree in even the smallest capacity. Jobs paying significantly more than minimum wage are a plus.

At the very least, I'm doing something. That feels better.